


When I Laugh

by QuaintImperfections



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:03:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8755420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuaintImperfections/pseuds/QuaintImperfections
Summary: Finn and Poe sneak away for a midnight snack, and end up talking about something rather personal.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is before they enter a relationship, but they're well on their way, so I hope the use of the tag is okay?

 Poe let out a deep sigh that made Finn smile into his pillow. 

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, voice muffled. 

“Nope,” Poe replied. “I think I’m gonna go get a snack,” he said and Finn heard his bed sheets rustle as he got up. 

Finn rolled on his back to look at him. “At this time?” 

Poe grinned at him and pushed the hair out of his face. “No one else is gonna be there. Come on.” 

“What?”

“Come with me,” Poe said, tugging his boots on. 

“I’m not hungry,” Finn said. 

 _“Finn_ ,” Poe insisted, and Finn laughed at how close to a whine his voice was. “Come  _on_.” 

Finn let out an exaggerated sigh as he got up. Poe laughed victoriously. “There’s a good man!” He went to get Finn’s jacket and threw it over his shoulders while Finn was bent over to tie his shoes. 

“Isn’t everything rationed?” Finn asked as they walked out. He felt ridiculous, yet oddly joyful to walk around base in his pyjamas and leather jacket. “What are you even gonna eat?” 

Poe shrugged. “There’s always leftovers. And don’t think you’re getting out of trying whatever I make. Who knows when I’m gonna have a chance to cook for you again.” 

“You can cook?” Finn inquired, trying to focus on that, and not the  _for you_  part. 

Poe nodded with a smile. “My dad taught me,” he said. There was a softness to his voice that tugged on something in Finn’s stomach. 

“And your mom?”

Poe hummed. “She taught me how to fly.” He took a breath, but then shook his head and didn’t continue. Instead, he bumped Finn with his hip and said, “Race you!” and took off in a run. Finn stared after him for all of a second before he let out an indignant cry and chased after him. 

He caught up to him right before they reached the kitchen. He managed to wrap his arms around Poe just in time and spin him around. Poe let out a laugh, helpless, breathless, and let himself be half-dragged into the kitchen. 

Once inside, Poe leaned into his embrace for a moment. “You win, buddy.” He sighed and patted Finn’s arm gently, walking away from him. “Take a seat. I’m gonna see what I can find.” 

“‘Kay,” Finn said and made his way to the small table, turning the chair around so he’d be facing Poe. He watched him pick ingredients and start cutting and mixing everything with ease. It didn’t seem like it was a difficult task, but Finn still admired how light and precise Poe’s movements were. There was something about the sight of him, half-dressed, preparing a meal in the faint light the lamp provided, that made Finn feel... Cozy. 

“I’m sorry,” he said after a while. When Poe shot him a confused look over his shoulder, he went on, “It’s probably hard for you to talk about them.” 

“It’s okay, buddy,” Poe assured him as he put a plate of something colorful and steaming in front of Finn. He took a plate for himself and settled across from Finn. “I’m just not used to it, is all. Everyone here either knew them, or knows  _of_ them. And they’ve been gone for years. The stories ran out long ago.” 

Finn nodded. “Would you like to talk about them, though?” 

Poe chewed on his food and shrugged, looking away. “Sometimes, I suppose. I miss them.” He sighed. “I wonder what they would think if they saw who I am now.” 

“I think they’d be proud,” Finn said and picked a few pieces of vegetable on his fork. “You’ve done a lot. For a lot of people.” 

Poe just looked at him, grateful. He bit his lip and nodded, obviously unsure of what to say next. 

“I do wonder what it’s like,” Finn said, coming to his rescue. “Having parents at all.” He cleared his throat and shook his head, reminding himself he really was allowed to talk about it. “I don’t... Miss them. I guess you can’t really miss something you never had. But I keep thinking about them. All the time.” He dropped his fork, gaze on his meal, way too aware of how Poe had gone completely still, carefully taking in every word of Finn’s. He cleared his throat again. “I wonder if we’re alike at all. Not just looks, you know? The First Order probably made sure to strip all that away, but I still wonder if my manners are like hers, somehow. If I sound like him when I laugh.” He looked up at Poe and blinked a few times to make his friend’s face appear less blurry. He chuckled, embarrassed. “Kriff. I’m sorry.”

“Buddy, it’s okay,” Poe said, voice quiet, yet rough. He put a gentle hand on top of Finn’s. Something in Finn’s stomach fluttered again, though for entirely different reasons. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m so sorry they were taken from you. I know I can’t do much, if anything at all, but you can always talk to me, alright?”

Finn turned his hand around so he could grasp Poe’s. “Thank you. I just... I’ve never talked about... Any of this. With anyone. Never felt like I could. I don’t even know where to start,” he said, letting out a helpless laugh. 

Poe nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “If you want to share any of this with me, I’m always here to listen. But we also have great doctors here on base that could help you talk about it. Make sense of it all.”

“Yeah. Don’t know how much it would help, though,” he mumbled. “It won’t bring them back. It won’t give me my childhood back.”

“No, it won’t,” Poe said, voice trembling. “Kriff, I hate those bastards.” 

“You and me both.” He squeezed Poe’s hand. “That’s why we have to stop them. They’ve done this to enough of us already. I can’t even stomach the thought...” He took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“You don’t have to convince me, buddy,” Poe said. “I’ll do whatever it takes to see the end of them.” 

They stared at each other in grim silence. Finn looked away first, gaze dropping to his plate, his meal having gone cold by now. He looked back at Poe. 

“Can I ask you for a favor?” 

“Anything.”

Finn smiled at the sincerity in his voice. “Will you teach me? How to cook?” 

Poe let out a surprised laugh. “Of course! But you should know, I’m no master. Can’t teach you anything fancy. I think we can stick around the cooks whenever we have time, though, and—” 

Finn watched Poe pick up his fork with his left hand, clumsy, his right busy still clutching at Finn’s. He continued his own meal and tried to hide a smile as he listened to his friend chatter on. 

**Author's Note:**

> Let us all pretend that it's realistic that they sneak out and race and make noise and don't encounter anyone, yes? 
> 
> Comments are more than appreciated. I've made a sideblog for fics over at [quaintfic.tumblr.com](https://quaintfic.tumblr.com/), and it's rather empty for now, but feel free to write me there if you'd like to :)


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